The Art of Being Lovable

Finding a partner and starting a love relationship doesn’t come easily to everybody, and some are in desperate need of help. Manuel Picón González has recognized a business opportunity in others’ love struggles, and has, along with several others, co-founded a Flirt University: a programme designed to teach people who are tired of failing with the girls (or the boys), ultimately improving their love relationships. Manuel talked to Sensa Nostra about why he decided to start this project. 

I co-founded Flirt University a little over one year ago, when I realized that I possess the knowledge to offer people help to better their love lives. After my friends had been repeatedly coming to me for advice on girls and relationships for some time, I came to the conclusion that I might have something to teach them. That’s when I decided to share my knowledge on a much bigger scale. I decided to offer my help to everybody who needs it, not just to those who know me personally. Right now, I’m at a point where I feel that I am qualified enough to teach people how to understand love, girls, and relationships, and to teach them how to become the best versions of themselves they can possibly be—for them and for the girls or boys they choose. I’m always trying to teach people everything I know, and I’m willing to share my knowledge with everybody.

Flirt University started off as a small project in Essen, but soon expanded beyond the city borders. Right now, Flirt University has headquarters in Essen, Cologne, and Berlin. The success of the company is obvious in the number of people we’ve helped as well—within one year of its existence we have already coached over 1200 customers.

Learning how to flirt, or more specifically, learning how to approach a girl or a boy in a way that increases your chances of being positively perceived, is an art in of itself. It is a social skill, and for some, it just doesn’t come naturally. Whether people are too shy, too introverted, or too afraid of unfavorable responses, a lot of people cannot find a partner. They are unable to show an interest in others in the first place, or more commonly, they are unable to do so in a compelling manner. For that reason, they have unsatisfying or non-existent love relationships, and they are unable to improve this by themselves. This is where Flirt University comes in.

Flirt University exists to make people comprehend that everybody is attractive enough and likeable enough to find a girlfriend or boyfriend, a life partner or a one-night stand. If people are having troubles with finding a partner, it’s because they don’t know how to approach them or how to talk with them. At Flirt University, we make people realize that being successful in starting a love relationship is only a matter of knowing how to display your best self in a positive way, in an initial social interaction. Everybody can have a successful love life, they just need to learn how to do that.

That’s how I got where I am now, by learning. I never was all that unsuccessful with girls—I had two serious relationships before I started to study girls—but I was not as smooth in approaching them as I wanted to be. I couldn’t get girls that I wanted, and I couldn’t get as many as I wanted. Therefore, I decided to study. There’s nothing curious or unusual about that—people study and practice things they want to get better at all the time. If you want to learn how to play a guitar, you take classes; if you want to be better at soccer, you practice it. And if you want to be better at approaching girls, you study girls. And that’s what I did. I have studied sociology, psychology, and evolutionary biology in order to understand girls better, to understand what they like in a guy and what they want from him.

There are always some generalizations present when it comes to saying what girls want, obviously, but there do exist some basic characteristics that all girls want to find in their partners. It is just the way we are built—it’s in our genes, in our nature, to look for a particular type of mate. Even if they don’t realize it, all girls are looking for the alpha male—someone who’ll protect them, who’ll look after them, who’ll keep them safe. They don’t want someone who agrees with them all the time or someone who does exactly what they say. They want a confident, even smoothly aggressive man, who’ll cherish them, guide them and help them find their way when they’re lost.

And that’s what you have to be if you want the girls to notice you and, moreover, if you want them to recognize you as a potential partner. At first, stepping outside of your comfort zone and being someone that you’ve not been before is definitely hard: you’re trying to be self-confident, you’re acting like you are, and you cannot help but wonder still if it shows how unsure in yourself you truly are. But there comes a time when acting confident stops being acting and becomes who you are. It becomes your natural attitude. Hereafter, you develop a different sense of self and evolve an enhanced identity. The characteristics you’ve adopted intentionally bring out accompanying characteristics in you by themselves. My newfound confidence, for example, not only means that I am surer of myself, but also I have become more determined, more decisive and assertive.

The reason for our ability to develop ourselves in that way is that all of these characteristic are already written in our genes. All of us possess them, but not all of us have developed them in our childhood. Still, it is just as possible and manageable to develop them later in life. Everybody has the potential to become more confident and to learn how to approach girls in a positive way, and with that knowledge, everyone can be involved in a successful love relationship.

I’m not saying I can have any girl I want. Obviously there has to be some chemistry on her part as well, so it’s impossible to be irresistible to everybody. But what I do have is the capability to always have girls in my life. I know how to get a girl and how to treat a girl, and therefore, I’m never unsatisfied in any aspect of my love life.

To be honest, I have had my share of fun, and right now, I’m looking for something lasting. I am looking for love, for the one I can and want to be with for longer than I plan to. I haven’t found her yet, or at least I don’t think I have. Love is such a complicated term. You can never be sure that it is indeed love that you’re feeling. Getting there, to love somebody endlessly, is much more complicated than picking up a girl, it takes magic, that little bit—I don’t know how much—of mystery that connects one person to the other for good. But at least, when I find that magic, I’ll know how to proceed with the relationship from that point on.

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  • Out for love

    Seems you have figured out a way to express your dominative sexuality in a way you end up having intercourse. To me it seems though, as if you have made a trade off between getting people attracted to you and getting attracted yourself.

    As you said, falling in love requires some magic. Maybe this magic is the same thing as being so overwhelmed by another person that it makes you a bit unsure of how to behave. Wanna fall in love? Try forgetting everything you teach others and reconnect with your emotional side. Most likely it’s not gonna get you in bed with anyone, but it just might evoke love like emotions inside your heart.

  • Gideon

    You succesfully managed to commercialize and rationalize what is perhaps the last stance of irrationality in our society: relationships and love. Now, I am not sure what exactly the difference is between your “university” and the plethora of “Pick-Up Masters” and their courses that have been growing on trees lately, but it does sound rather alike. Perhaps a bit more socially conscious, a bit more well-developed, – after all, you call it a “university”, but in essence it seems to be the same thing. You don’t sell relationships, or skills. You sell self-images. And those you sell them to are under the impression that when they can approach girls, they’ll feel better about themselves. It’s not about ‘having someone in your life’, it’s about tragically disrupted self-images. These people, who lack the self-confidence, do so because of our ridiculous consumerist societal standards on how a ‘succesful’ person need to be behave. You have to be good-looking, rich, smooth, a good talker, a good listener, understanding and mysterious and challenging all at the same time. No one lives up to those standards. However, almost every product or service promises those standards: that is the essence of consumerism. What you have done is simply add another service to that list. So don’t fool yourself when you think you did good. You didn’t.
    I have met a few people like you. Your self-confidence might be boosted, but it’s mostly ego and not your actual self-image. You can’t ‘fix’ or ‘improve’ that with a pseudo-scientific course. No, you end up hopelessly overcompensating for that little self-respect that you cling unto. And external confirmation – girls – are a great way of (over)compensation, after all.

    • Personally know and agree

      I know of FlirtUniversity on a personal level (a specific individual) and everything you said is SPOT ON. Some of them are still VERY immature and and not intellectually able to give advice to any one else. I know personally that a few of them DON’T practice what they preach because they need a lot of help themselves. It is just a business for profit at the pockets of those who may not have caught on (it’s easy to catch on) and nothing, absolutely NOTHING more.

  • Reddit-Gogo

    How romantic that is, especially considering that some time ago, Mr. Picon-Gonzalez was speaking about “how to nail a girl during her period” (beware of graphic language!) in his very own Pickup-Blog which unfortunately was subject to a complete deletion recently…

  • ali

    i dindnt read the articel yet. but i checked the page from the “university”. its “just” about pick up. theres nothing wrong about pick up. it helped myself a lot from being totaly desperade to make me and some girls happy. but it has veeery few to do with love…