Today, sexuality is no longer binary, you don’t have to be hetero or homo, straight or gay, you can be anything. How you interpret yourself isn’t necessarily either or, it’s just Kinsey Grey. Even though we live in the age of sexual enlightenment (yes it is only partial), all the talk of gender spectrums has left some people high and dry. We interviewed a young woman who had something to say on the topic of sex and shockingly widespread sexual repression.
I know that things aren’t cut and dry when it comes to sexuality and I don’t think they should be. Who cares if you identify as straight or bi, or something completely different. It doesn’t matter to me, nor should it to you. Imagine, however, that you place yourself on the heterosexual spectrum. I like to fuck men, I’ve tried it with women but mainly I just ended up confused.
Ironically, I grew up in an ‘extremely liberal’ environment. Everyone thought they were the paradigm of liberal sanctity. Pro-choice, open sexuality, drug use, leftist politics, and of course good feelings were staples in my hometown. So shouldn’t I as a teenage girl have been clued into the world of my own pleasure? Even in liberal culture, female sexuality is hardly discussed.
Too many women I know today haven’t ever had an orgasm. And no, they aren’t virgins, they simply are out of touch with their sexuality. I don’t think that it’s their fault. I didn’t know how to make myself come until I was 16, that’s when I really started to masturbate for the first time. But at that time, I hardly told anyone, I was ashamed, I felt dirty, at the same time it was also the best feeling I had ever had. But when I did tell my friends, none of them had come. I thought that I was ahead of the curve, but as I’ve grown older and some might say wiser, I’ve realized that it hasn’t changed one bit for many women.
For boys it’s a given: pull on your dick and it gets hard. Keep on doing it and … ta DA! Love Explosion. But for girls it’s another story, touching your vagina isn’t ok, its a taboo. When I talk to many of my friends about masturbating, they get quiet, turn reddish in the face and giggle. I fucking hate that. It’s not embarrassing to have a vagina or to know how to use it. For fucks sake!
But then is it really their fault? To some extent yes, I figured it out myself, they didn’t. But if you’re age 25 and you’ve never had an orgasm, there’s more than something wrong with you, there’s something wrong with society.
Recently at a party with a friend of mine, we were talking about the guy she’d been fucking. She straight up tells me it’s the best sex she’s ever had.
“Fuck yeah, how was the orgasm?’
‘ermm I didn’t have one, actually I’ve never come while having sex.’
‘really? Do you masturbate?’
‘Not really…’
…
‘have you ever come?
‘Uhh, I think so”
Fuck… Time to get another beer. All I could think was, if you had come you would definitely know. When I come, I forget everything else, the animal in me is unleashed. Ultimately that’s all sex is.
A few days later I had to stifle a scream, when she told me upon seeing a hot guy, ‘I think I just came in my pants.’
Why is it okay to come proverbially but not actually?
That’s another fucked up thing, faking orgasms. I’ve faked orgasms and I’m not proud of it. Sometimes it’s a really good tool to get the dude fucking you to stop. I mean diplomatically. But faking an orgasm is the definition of counterproductive. The more women do it, the more the mists of myth enshroud the female orgasm. So that for many women an orgasm is a thing of fantasy, but at the same time, a seemingly unachievable thing. The more you fake it, because you think that everyone is having orgasms aside from you, the harder it becomes. You give up hope and the orgasm remains a myth.
So I guess what I’m trying to get at is: Touch yourself. Masturbate !
No, you won’t wake up with hairy palms and a cursed soul. In the biblical sense your not even spilling any seed. So what’s the big deal? Just do it, god won’t strike you down. You might even realize that it feels good to have a vagina; that an orgasm isn’t a fairytale.
If you don’t know how to please yourself, how can you enjoy sex? It’s not like men are born with an encyclopedic knowledge of the female reproductive system. Rather the opposite. If you can’t do it for yourself, how are they supposed to do it for you? So take that time to get to know yourself and make your orgasm a reality.
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