If two guys have sex, are they gay? Not necessarily, says Christian Jespersen, for whom the ‘turning’ of straight guys is a gratifying sport. We are all a little gay, Christian claims, and the boundary between gay and heterosexual is becoming even more irrelevant. Christian talked to Sensa Nostra about his views on sexuality.
You meet them everywhere. I meet them at the corner of straight and bi-curious. Not all roads lead to Rome when it comes to taking a straight guy home. You might get lost and end up at a dead end if you don’t play your cards right.
For a gay man to fall for a straight man isn’t unnatural. In my experience, it happens quite frequently. But fantasizing about a straight guy and actually fucking one are two completely different stories. In real life you could be flirting with disaster. For a straight man it might be flattering to have both girls and guys fawning over him, but for even these modern individuals, flirtation is as much as they can tolerate.
Seducing a straight man is the ultimate gay man’s gratification. To turn someone gay, if only for a night, makes you feel powerful and irresistible.
But I’m not sure it’s about ‘turning’ someone gay as much as it is that everyone is somewhat gay to begin with, and just need to be encouraged to act on it. The American biologist Alfred Kinsey, a scientist of human sexuality, claimed that there is a scale of sexuality that went form zero to six, going from the least to the most gay. Through many years of research and interviews, Kinsey discovered that most people could be placed at two on that scale—meaning that most people are at least somewhat attracted to the same sex. If that is true, then our sexuality might be merely a socially and culturally constructed reality. If it’s a question of a scale, then few of us are ‘gay’ or ‘straight’, but somewhere in the middle. The gay ‘closet’ is, then, a constricting term. Why must it be a closet anyway? Why not a house, where there is plenty of room for everybody with any sexual fantasy?
I had my share of straight men I have flirted with, kissed, seduced, and even fallen in love with. Some have gone all the way with me; others just settled for the thrill of the attention. I’ve come to realize that if you are a straight-acting gay guy but still open about your sexuality, straight men are far more open and accepting of you. The less excuses you make about yourself, the more you are likely to be considered one of the boys. People always ask me how I’m able to seduce straight men. I don’t have a certain approach or tricks up my sleeve. If you win their trust, they will feel comfortable around you, and the more comfortable they are, the more likely they are to share their fantasies with you. Of course trust will only get you so far—a bit of booze will get you a lot farther. The more alcohol that goes in, the more secrets come out.
I think for straight men, or any man in fact, the idea of being able to have casual sex without having to play by any dating rules is an appealing thought. To straight men I might be just that. I can be the good friend and buddy that won’t steal their girlfriends, as well as providing gratifying casual side sex.
There is also, of course, the forbidden hole. For straight couples to have anal sex is not a given, but for gays it’s almost always a ‘hole in one’. We live in a sexually overexposed culture where straight men fast-forward the porn to the anal scene because regular sex just isn’t doing the trick anymore. So maybe if the brown starfish is so attractive, and you play your cards right, straight men will hook up with those who are more willing to share it—even if they’re guys.
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