Sex

You Are My Bitch Now – Female Player

Here’s the rule. You go out, you see someone you like, you sleep together, probably never see him again. Or if you really like each other, then I guess you see him again. And again. And maybe you fall in love and you end up together. A quite attractive psychology professor talks to Sensa Nostra about she plays dangerous, against the dating rules. Her looks combined with her knowledge of male mentality become a dangerous weapon when it comes to flirting. 

I just play along. I thought it was a matter of time before I met, you know, the so-called ONE; or that maybe I met the wrong people at the wrong places; or that it was just my life style at the moment, and when I wanted to get more serious, I would. Or maybe it’s just that all hot guys out there are extremely gullible.

I’ve never been in a committed relationship. I’ve never even slept with the same person more than five times. Some might say I am still young, some might say that I can never truly love and open myself to someone.

It doesn’t get me thinking at all. I grew up in a loving and caring family, I don’t have any abandonment issues, and no one has ever broken my heart, so no trust issues there. I am not a feminist and I am totally, one hundred percent straight. I love dick. I just treat boys like shit.

I’ve never fallen in love. I’ve never missed someone, I’ve never cried out of anything other than anger, never kissed anyone out of anything other than lust. I never had any butterflies in my stomach. No moral boundaries, no feelings of guilt. I don’t go out on dates; I don’t sleep over at someone’s place. Sure, I fuck strangers, but I don’t hug strangers, or call strangers the morning after. The whole process of getting someone into bed is really intriguing for me, but right after I sleep with him, I totally lose interest. The moment you start getting intimate, I run away.

I am a small talk expert and capable of massive lying. I’ve said “I love you” several times; I’ve cried and begged for forgiveness; sometimes I text people after-hours with poetry bullshit and vivid descriptions of deeper emotions, just to get laid. Works every time. I’ve read about eight hundred books so far, but I never fantasized about meeting my soul mate, or finding true, deep, unconditional love.

Once you express interest in me, I’ll bang you and disappear. But I won’t leave you alone. I’ll hit you back sometime, when I’m bored, or too lazy to hunt new prey, with irresistible means. No matter if sex was really good, or neutral, no matter if I liked you in a way or not. Just to get you into bed and then dump you again. Sometimes, I don’t even wanna fuck, I just want to satisfy my arrogant ego with your declaration of love. Of course I’ve met male players. And to be honest, they fall easier than innocent nerds.

You probably think that I am pathetic. That I am missing out all the important stuff. But am I? I assure you, I have the best time. Maybe I am missing out on tenderness and sharing… but have you ever considered everything you’ve been through, in your life-long quest for true love? How many times you got hurt, all those doubts and fears you had, how many times you felt weak and lonely? How many times your friends couldn’t take your whining break-up shit anymore? You’ll probably say it’s worth it, but I’ll say the same. You go for affection and intimacy, I go for confidence and challenges. Plus, it keeps me from resting my mind. I don’t believe I need another person to feel complete.

And yes, I am arrogant. I am beautiful and intelligent, great in bed, with great social skills, I have great friends, a great sense of humor, great educational background and luckily, I have a PhD in psychology which allows me to diagnose that I do not suffer from Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

I can manipulate people in any way you can imagine in order to satisfy my every desire. I can make you fall for me with minimum effort. I can make you want me in your bed right now, playing ‘who’s your daddy’, and have you making breakfast and buying me flowers in the morning. I never really felt that I needed to be with someone. In fact, I am so busy making my career dreams come true and having great times with my loved ones, that I can’t actually make time for a boyfriend in my life right now. Or ever. I don’t see why I have to go through all this unnecessary emotional hassle. If I wanna fuck, I’ll fuck. If I want you to cook me dinner and watch a movie, you will. If I want you to fuck me in the elevator right now, you will—even if that means cheating on your loving girlfriend upstairs. If I wanna convert you to a hetero just for a night, I will. But to get you there you’ll hear a hell of a lot of lies. I will promise you the world. I will make you believe that I am sent from above, that we are made for each other, and chances are good that you’re gonna want to marry me and grow old together.

And most likely, after a week of me not answering your calls, you’ll probably text me, thoroughly describing how little you think of me, calling me a slut and saying you never want to see me again. Believe me, if I want it, you will.


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  • Rick Wells

    ummmm, where can I meet girls like this?

  • Dorian

    Wow that’s a manipulative psychopathic women were have here! … But I guess it’s the new modern version of a women. Men are the same, they are influenced by video games which make them unemotional killing machines. So for this example what would be the social construct for her way of life? Is this a modern phenomena or an individual case?
    I consider it a modern phenomena, since I have met a lot of those girls ( and you can meet many more on sex apps and websites today). To answer my first reflection about her influences: I would say it relates to the disenchantment of love and glorification of sexual freedom fueled by the western TV shows/media and feminist emancipation movements (even though this subject sees no correlation there). For the disenchantment, she probably saw too many 1990’s films about teenage college sex, the wave or unemotional porn and the series like Sex and the City that make girls no longer believe that love is for everyone (yeah think about it!). For the feminist idea, It feels to me like a power complex from one sex to the other, and a proud one there too (which is why i relate it to feminism).

    • Simone

      I agree with you on these modern phenomena. But it is not only about 1990’s TV shows, series, or films etc. But also a modern phenomena due to the mass consumption era in which we are living. She consume men’s as she could go buy a dress at H&M, wear it once, leave it in a corner of a wardrobe, go buy a new one etc.…

  • Robin Thinke

    You’ve got to imagine a gender reversal. If a guy were to be so candid in this way it would provoke absolute outrage.

    Compare with the recent debate and discussion surrounding “rape culture,” the furore that stemmed from Blurred Lines, a song that contained the line “I know you want it,” well here’s someone saying “It doesn’t matter if you don’t want it, I want it, and I’ll make you want it.”

    The sentiment here is that rather than blurred lines, she knows there are clear, distinct lines, but she doesn’t care about the consequences or the fallout of her actions.

    She knows what she wants and she is certain she will get it, anyone who gets hurt along the way is just collateral damage.

  • Chris

    I think it’s interesting that this frames psychological control as the ‘prize’ in this game and sexual pull as the means to winning. I would be interested to see how the game would fall apart if sex and love couldn’t be used as tools. I would also be interested to know how this person feels about sex as an act itself – if it’s an add-on, secondary to the thrill of psychological puppeteering, or if sex is actually seen commodity for this person.

    I would also be interested to know who is spared from this game, how she picks her ‘friends and loved ones’ and why they wouldn’t fall victim to her trap. How does she pick and choose?

  • Mick

    I’d be interested to know who she does actually care about and see her relationship with them. How would she react if that person or people met someone such as herself.

  • Simone

    I am not any kind of love supporter. I mean by that that I don’t see looking your entire life for someone to complete you as an end in it self.
    But I cannot really believe that this girl as absolutely no feeling at all. She is a human being and not a robot. She seems to manage perfectly to convince her self of being this cold person. She is talking about control over the guys she is dating but it is actually control toward her. She is so afraid of being the weak one, the loser, the stupid one waiting for an sms that she put her self over the situation.
    She probably does not feel because she actually kills all the chances of probably having any kind of emotion. She probably does not listen to her self. I wish her very good luck the day she will start listening to what she fells and when her emotions will start to come up..

  • Jack Nackson

    Power fiend, fair enough. I was hoping this article would be about sex.

  • Justin S.

    You claim you can seduce anyone, I see.
    Very well. If this is not just a piece to provoke, if you are not weak behind your words, I want you to prove it. Come and get me.
    My claim is that I yield to none. Predators such as yourself cannot get into my head; I find such attempts laughable. Furthermore, I find them enjoyable. Mind games are far more interesting, far more exhilarating, than any board game or sport.
    Sadly, I haven’t found someone who can match me in quite some time. I doubt you will; it’s easy to talk tall behind a screen.
    I challenge you: Find me. Seduce me. I’ll be waiting.

  • Jose

    Tell me what you brag about and I’ll tell you what you lack. For being a psychologist with a fancy Phd you talk and behave like a 16 year old who just got laid a couple times and smoked his first joint, but hey, if it floats your boat go play your part and enjoy the ride.

  • patriciam

    I respect her/his honesty..whether its her truth or just for print. I can see the lack of need for validation.. its all about her need for self..no one else..we look in the mirror prior to leaving the house to work or on a date because we look for validation/approval from others. In her case..she could care less ..I applaude her honesty.and wish we all would be a bit more honest about our true intentions.

  • Trish

    You applaude the honesty the author gives to everybody except his/her targets? But isn’t the whole point that he/she is manipulating and lying ergo not being honest about his/her true intentions?

    I feel that this is just a bad copy of ‘cruel intentions’. Oh yeah sexy Sarah Michelle Gellar and Ryan Phillipe playing everybody around them 😉 I can understand that people are fascinated by the thought of being able to mind-fuck anybody they want, but if we are being honest here it does not matter if you are male or female, to intentionally hurt and use people around you for your own amusement does not make you ‘player of the year’ it just makes you a pathetic and shitty person sorry.

    Don’t get me wrong if you’re not into relationships and need/want to scratch an itch, by all means go for it. But don’t intentionally fool a person into that you are offering something that is not and will never be on the table.

    I believe that this kind of dishonesty can have a dangerous ripple effect… What about the people that never wanted to play this game? What about the people that can’t handle this game?

  • pm

    Lol…I don’t think you get the true meaning if her/his honesty.. the mere concept of being honest was/ is never about how others feel..it is about the authors needs, wants and desires.. not his/her victims. We are all victims ….at each others expense, unfortunately.

    I never wanted to play that game either but it was his honesty during the entire process that i would not allow myself to not see as it bled through his smiles, smooth talk and manipulation. I was his victim.

    In the end, it was my honesty that allowed me to take him to the cleaners..it no longer became about his need but my own. He then became my victim, I had no remorse and could care less about his pain.

    We should appreciate honesty..in any shape or form…we just have to learn to recognize it.and protect ourselves better.