MY HEROIN(E)

It is widely accepted that drugs are destructive and that they are addictive. Aside from meth, heroin is the most dangerous of them all. Cultures ban their use and prosecute users and dealers in their own ways. Drug users are shunned as irresponsible, as escapist good-for-nothings. But why do people use drugs? Why aren’t they accepted as legitimate? We recently interviewed a young man who shared with us his view on drugs.

I don’t shoot up, I’ve never tried, and I never will. But I get high on the legal edition of heroine aka oxycontin, well sometimes the real stuff too. Yes I do it daily and yes I’m addicted. You can call me an addict, but so what. I’m addicted to something socially taboo while your probably addicted to something acceptable like cigarettes, alcohol, caffeine, adrenaline, or having fun. In my experience life isn’t always peachy, and carefree, and life certainly isn’t a walk in the park. Hold on, your probably thinking, that I’m a cynic, embittered and ready to check out. But I love my life, in fact I love what I do, but I like to make my life taste good and go down easy.

And no, that’s not a contradiction; I live my life the way I want, keyword being ‘live’. I don’t sit around on my ass all day getting high. Sure I’ve done it, but then who hasn’t. I’ve tried most drugs out there, granted not 2C-E or I, peyote, DMT, and meth, and definitely no bath salts. But my favorite fare is bacon. Yeah that’s what I call it, because when you freebase it, heroin smells like bacon, tastes like it too. Sure it sounds stupid, but it’s true. If you don’t believe me you know what to do.

Heroin is for special occasions, every morning I roll out of bed and reach into my pill basket. I grab myself five pinks. Five itty-bitty pills, 50mg in total of oxy, but what a big difference they make. My doctor kindly prescribes me enough oxy every month to keep an elephant floating. I take two and go make myself some coffee. 20 mgs is the best way to start a day. By the time my percolator (coffee, not pipe) has run its course, I’ve got a warm and fuzzy feeling in my stomach. It radiates outwards so that by the time I’ve had my morning cup of joe and cig I’m completely enshrouded in a warm blanket of comfort. But then how does your day progress, you might also be asking yourself? Why, like anyone else’s.

I leave the house, take a bus to work, and get down to it. Around noon I take another pink, to ensure that I stay wrapped up. The best part is I’m functioning at one hundred percent, all-systems go. My mind isn’t foggy, in fact it’s perfectly clear. I just feel better than I would otherwise. And what’s criminal about that? I graduated from college with honors on this regiment and have stuck with it ever since. I do my part in society; I work 40 hours a week.

When I get time off, like everyone else in the world I like to relax. So my friends and I buy some horse. Then it’s time to freebase. Listen to a few records, preferably U2’s Joshua Tree, Jimi’s Axis: Bold as Love, and Neil Young & Crazy Horse’s Live at the Filmore East. But who cares about that, its time to go for a stroll. Take the dog for a walk with the girlfriend. All in all, it’s pretty idyllic, as long as you pay attention. I’ve had some close calls with the law and something more serious. I learned my lesson.

I smoked bacon with my girlfriend, had a bit too much. Yep, that will never happen again. I nodded off or so she told me, in doing so burned her with a cigarette. Anyways then we headed to bed. I made a detour to the bathroom, puked, apparently. Then back to bed for me. But I was horny and so was she. So we got to it. Beyond that I can’t remember. The next morning, I was still alive, had it all recounted to me. Point being, I didn’t choke on my puke in my sleep, but I did fall asleep face first in her vagina, mmm…

So the lesson is be careful or you might pass out in your girlfriend’s vagina.

But no really, I know its fucked up. But before you condemn me and mine to hell, think about it this way. I am a functioning member of society. Yes I abuse opiates, but what’s different from that and getting drunk all the time? I function perfectly, well aside from that one time, but who doesn’t have that experience drinking? And don’t more people do stupid and embarrassing things while drunk? And the last time I checked a lot more people die from cigarettes than from Oxy or H. And don’t forget, my doctor prescribes me my drug, it’s covered by my health insurance, not bought off the street, except for those special occasions. So what’s the difference between my love and yours?


Vote UpVote Down
76%23%