A young woman, who was diagnosed at birth with Osteogenesis Imperfecta, a disease which causes her bones to be brittle and subject to breaking very easily, gives an insight into how she navigates her way through life, relationships and sex. She shows that in spite of a disability that has led her to be wheelchair-bound, she is only as disabled as she allows herself to be, and happiness really is a state-of-mind.
I was born with Osteogenesis imperfecta. When my mother gave birth to me I had two broken legs. As a result, I’m only 103cm tall and my bones break really easily, which for many people with OI means a life of caution. I, however, couldn’t imagine living constantly in fear though. I go to clubs and bars, festivals, climb stairs, drink, study at university and I travel. I don’t limit myself just because I have this disease. It just means that I break bones more often. Last summer I broke my femur and two summers before that I broke the other one, both times while I was in bars. Typically I use a wheelchair to get around — an electric one for the outdoors and a manual one at home. I’m quite mobile. Most European cities have adjusted to accommodate people in wheelchairs, so very little is restricted from me. I’m truly independent. I’m looking to get into European Commissions EVS and work as a volunteer. I’m really interested in politics and human rights. I want to break stereotypes and open people’s minds to the ambitious and fulfilling lives of disabled people like myself.
Sex. This is a topic people are often interested in. They assume that because I’m a gimp that my sex life is non-existent. Well you’d probably never guess, but it is actually very active. I stopped keeping count after 40. Bars are a good place to meet people, whereas the internet is usually just packed full of creeps, or people who will instantly judge me because of my height. I stick to a one-night-stand routine. Meeting at the bar, going to their place to hook up in the evening, and doing my best to vanish in the morning. I avoid dating, especially blind dates. I don’t do well with face-to-face rejection. I rarely share my condition with men when I meet or chat to them. Mentioning that you’re 103 cm, or that your bones break easily, is a real turn-off and men are afraid they’ll hurt me. Sometimes I do mention it deliberately, especially online to weed out the jerks. I’ve never had anyone say they want to be with me because I’m disabled. My disability isn’t who I am. I do joke about it though, even asking guys “So, how do you feel now that you’ve screwed a midget!?”
My disability isn’t who I am. I do joke about it though, even asking guys “So, how do you feel now that you’ve screwed a midget!?”
In some ways I feel I’m paving the way for gimps. I’m the Samantha Jones of the disabled! I tend to be pretty experimental. I have been with others with OI or who are disabled but I find it kinda boring. Often they aren’t as capable as me and it ends up being less than satisfying. I’ve even been with disabled girls. Not all disabled women are able to emotionally overcome their disability and have a positive, bubbly personality like me, and I sometimes feel sorry for them. Everyone needs to feel loved and wanted.
Not all disabled women are able to emotionally overcome their disability and have a positive, bubbly personality like me, and I sometimes feel sorry for them. Everyone needs to feel loved and wanted.
In all honesty though, I am looking for love, and fall in love easily, several times a year in fact. Finding someone who loves you back, who sees you and not the wheelchair or the disability, is the hard part. I’ve been disappointed so many times. I fell in love with my best friend but he doesn’t feel the same way. Life goes on though. The sea is full of fish. Wouldn’t it be great if someone created date-a-midget.com and could sift through all the eligible candidates!
As for my future, I would like to be married and have a family. I haven’t given up the idea that true love is possible for me. My kids will have a 50/50 chance of having Osteogenesis Imperfecta, but that doesn’t really concern me. I managed fine with my condition and the world is constantly becoming more wheelchair/disable friendly. Studies have been investigating medications that strengthen bones. Maybe one day people won’t have to struggle with OI, so there is hope. I am also open to adoption, but it’s unlikely that a disabled person will be allowed to adopt.
Financially things aren’t that great for me at the moment, but when things get back on track I’d like to move to Spain and work with others who are disabled. We can have great, fulfilling lives if we just take the opportunity. The best advice I can give is – meet people. The greatest thing one can do is to just get out there. Don’t sit at home wallowing in self-pity. No one likes a needy gimp!