It was a phase in her life, she said, in which she felt strongly compelled to explore the expanse and purpose of her spiritual realm. This journey was like a dream, but a waking one with the quality of a waking reality, in which a beautiful and mysterious world would open up before her. She embarked with a question, as an autonomous explorer through the endless realms of a brilliant world usually hidden from the mind. She had set out for an answer which she wouldn’t understand for years to come. She bound her eyes to shut out all light so she would be able to better see within.
The drumming began.
It was my first time attempting to travel to the Lowerworld. It was suggested to me that to begin my adventure, I should imagine a place in nature I felt some connection to and use that as my starting point from which to descend. So I chose a tree I remembered quite well. When my mind quieted and had finally taken me there, I tried to imagine the rough bark of the tree on my fingertips and it’s earthly smell. I attempted to crawl deep down into its roots, but finding a way through the moist soil down underground proved itself to be a complicated endeavor. There was no entrance or sudden opening or tunnel to descend into. Then, I suddenly noticed the shore of a lake upon which my tree now stood rooted firmly in the sand. The lake whispered to me, lulling me into its waters. I stepped naked into it and the cool rush enveloped my body. I swam freely down, down, deep down into what felt like fathoms underwater, until like an enormous drain, everything including myself began to swirl. With dizzying speeds, I was then gently born into a harsh new landscape.
The weightlessness of being submerged dissipated with the water itself, revealing a barren desert panorama. I stood in the middle of nothingness for as far as the heart dared to wonder. The heat of the ground rose in waves making the stillness of the desert dance a translucent swaying dance before my eyes. I walked. I knew which direction to go, but not what I would discover. Everything has its magic, even nothingness. It provides you with profound advice about the place of your own life within the totality of all existence. On the horizon, hills were being formed rolling off into a misty shimmer of sky. Gradually I began to notice some little stones on the ground. I couldn’t feel the stones, you know, but I could see them very clearly and they were a brightly colored mosaic contrived by the hand of nature. They led me to the edge of a forest, thick with vegetation and teeming green. The air hung with moisture, inviting me in from the dry, burning sands. As I passed through the trees I could hear the hushed breath of the forest and feel the reverie of growth. The trees began to dwindle and I then came upon a field. The verdant grass appeared like a golden sea swaying in the mystical winds of my mind. I let myself wander.
After a while I found myself following a long path through the field. Suddenly, a spinning light of abyssal consecutive rings shone towards me. It was excruciatingly bright. Within the light a form began to emerge. At first there were geometric shapes which were rotating inward, into itself. Then it was the form of a man. He told me his name was Merkabel. Yes, he was a stranger to me, yet his presence was trusted, wise and patient. I realized he was there to guide me somehow on my course.
Because he was the first person I encountered, I asked him my question. He laughed at me and told me the answer to my question had been following me the entire journey. How? I looked around me and saw a tiny white mouse scurrying around on the ground. Instantly I was clothed and the mouse was nestled in my shirt pocket. It was time to go.I began to go back the way I had come: following the forest and back through the desert and up and out of the lake. Back to my body. The drums had long been finished.
Although I maintained conscious awareness of my doings in this totally new and yet familiarly archaic universe, I had attained something I didn’t understand.
I never went back into this place, this state of mind. For a while it was challenging to relate this experience to many people. It was such a personal endeavor for me that translating my journey into words for people who could process what had happened using our normal understanding was, more often than not, complex and extremely frustrating. I continued to follow my own spiritual path, seeking little consolation from others to avoid disputes over the validity of what I had experienced. It wasn’t until years later that I recognized this familiar form in a book I had come across. It was most definitely the same form which had come spiraling toward me in the fields of Lowerworld. As the book was kind enough to inform me, the name of the form is merkabah, bafflingly reminiscent of the name of the guide and teacher I had met. I found out it represented a vehicle used to activate your light from within, a chariot so to say, to guide you to other dimensions. Now, I am not religious, but this was a rediscovery of something I had seen on a journey of the soul, so I was deeply moved. This was something real. This unearthing of information reminded me that the knowledge which had shown me the shining brilliance of life was already there… It was essentially the light inside of the Lowerworld, mirrored in me, accessible to me through my own conscious dream state. I knew that to be able to remember what was already inside, I would have to go looking.